multiple choice

Ok. before I start working on Ej, I stretched my arms and begin typing this. So far, my weekend is nice. Friday night, I went out with Chinee, Minai, and Lina. We watched The Secret at the PT room. While watching, I thought, maybe if I draw a picture of Tsard and I inside my head, The law of Attraction may take place. hmm.. then i said, "nah!" After the film we ate at Hapagkainan then we went The Pit Grillery and I got drunk. Ye, it was fun with the random talks and noises we had. Then, saturday morning, I heared foot steps in my room and I was awaken but I played sleeping. It was Vincent, my brother opened my drawer and there he found a box of cigarette. He went out and told my parents I smoked. I heared my brother went back to my room and closed the drawer. While he was sneaking out of my room, I whispered, "Lagot ka saking bata ka." There, he ran out. haha. I was afraid that my parents might scold me but they didn't. Afternoon, I went to UP for UP AME where Deki attended as the evil girl reporter in Death Note. I also had fun because Et, Fei, Celine and Joy came. Haha. Our prof, Ms. Binkie was also at the same bldg just to pee. haha. Men, I saw lots of cosplayers. huhu. there, I want to cosplay again. I remember Etto from Downelink who invited me to join their Shippuden. I sent a message to him that I want to be Sai of Naruto in their Shippuden. The only problem is, Sai has a fine body and I don't. The thing I miss that day is eating Musashi. ouuugh! delicious!!

I really love japanese culture. The people, cosplaying, food, and gay people. There are a number of gay people attending anime conventions. Maybe my futuree is in this stuff. I rember an article I read from Paoplo's blog about Gay Jpop couple. See, I can live in their culture. haha. But lately, I felt in love with this girl again. yikes! (I'm bisexual, again!?) Oh men, I don't know how I'm gonna deal with this. Daisukidayo!!!

2nd chances or moving on

While I was watching Marimar, Monica texted me, asking for quotes that somehow says something about asking for a 2nd chance. I told her,"I don't have quotes like that, I only have quotes about moving on." Then I forwarded to her all those collection of forwarded messages I kept. Then while I was printing on a shirt, Tsard texted me, asking me if i need to ask something to him. Weird huh? I thought he read my blog entries but wtf, it's just his intuition. My stupid mouth/fingers told him that I'm blogging my emotions for the things happened between us that dumped me to the "cliff of despair." I didn't know what to do. I muddled. I asked him what's the need to open "the topic" but he didn't reply. I texted again and with frank words, I end it. I think I should live with friendship. I don't want to demand something he doesn't want to give. My life is not like Marimar's and Serio's love story. I think I have done what I need to do. I'm no longer interested in finding the answers to my questions. But a part of me is asking, what if I asked for another try, would it make a difference? Oh stop it! This weekend, I'm gonna have fun. I wont regret not asking. I'm gonna get drunk with my girl friends. I'm gonna attend a cosplay convention at UP (/@first date with Tsard) and I'm gonna change my room. This is my reborn! even though I haven't fully recover, I'm open for a new love affair. I'm ready to love unconditionally... again (without thinking of history to repeat itself.)

Siguro kung hindi ako naging bakla, hindi ako iibig ng ganito, hindi makulay ang buhay kahit palaging nasasaktan.

I was about to sleep when sudenly Meckie, a classmate during highschool talked to me and we finished late already. I miss her so much. She lend money for our batch's reunion in my house 2 years ago even if she can't come to the party because she's on the other side of the earth.

bonbonito: do i know u?
meckie: meckie. duh! i hate u. nakalimutan mo na ko
bonbonito: ikaw pala yan! hahaha hindi ko lang alam yung id mo and hindi kita
meckie: hehe ano na kamusta?
bonbonito: ok naman. Nangangayayat. Pakshet. ikaw?
meckie: kala ko nman ako ung nangangayayat! hehehe aus lng..puro work pero masaya nmn
bonbonito: actualy mukha ngang pumayat ka. nu work m?
meckie: ewan ko sau pampalubag loob hahaha nurse assistant
bonbonito: o ic.. anu yon? diba nurse assistant na ng doc e ang nurse meron din? weird lol
meckie: oo. malalandi tao d2. ung gingawa ng nurse jan kami gmgawa. ung gngawa ng doctor d2, nurse ang gmgawa. ang mga dctor, ewan ko kng ano gngwa
bonbonito: musta naman lovelife?? yikes!
meckie: wala no. naman!!!! ikaw musta ang love lyf? emote kng emote. i lyk ur pic here.. kmkha mo si champ ng konti
bonbonito: lol. Thanx. yan ang buhay..
meckie: bonn, lam mo di ko lam n nag out ka..
bonbonito: e kasi wla akong pinagsabihan. basta go lang hahah
meckie: pero matagal mo ng feel un
bonbonito: ay. alam ng simplicity!!! (section ko nung 4th yr hs)
meckie: talaga?! d ko naramdaman
bonbonito: epal sila camille, mykel, at jc e... sa BEC
meckie: hehe pero masaya k naman?
bonbonito: yea, masya kasi naging ganito, makulay. malungkot kasi talagang malungkot ang buhay
meckie: wow! im happy for you. e love lyf?
bonbonito: lol. http://bonbonito.blogspot.com/ ayan, nakasulat jan.
meckie: cge bbsahin ko yan some othr tym.
bonbonito: nye hay nako. summarize ko nlng syo. walang ibang oras para ditto. rush dapat
meckie: kailangan ng moment
bonbonito: basta, marami ng dumaan sa aking kamay at umikot-ikot ngunit nabitawan ako
meckie: waah ang lalim nun
bonbonito: nye, paulit ulit ng ngyyri skn, ayoko masanay pero ganun ang ngyayari
meckie: cguro ganun lang talga.. masasaktan at matututo ka
bonbonito: siguro ganun nga talaga ang dapat ko pagdaanan
meckie: lahat nmn dumadaan sa gnyan no
bonbonito: pero ayaw ko. ang pangit. Hindi ako nagsasawa magmahal pero, pati rin ang luha, hindi nagsasawa.
meckie: sabagay, mahrap kcng malaman kng sineseryoso k nga.
meckie: ano b nging problem nio
bonbonito: itong latest, ewan ko sa kanya, ang labo nya. babaliwalaan nya lahat ng mga ginawa nya, mga pinagsmahan namen.
meckie: ang hirap nman nun..ung nag invest k n sknya ng emosyon tapos wla nmn pla...ganun?
bonbonito: yup! gago yun e. hahaha
meckie: cnabi mo! leche xa kmo hehe
bonbonito: hahahaha. haay.. pero lecha nga sya at gago, iniiyakan ko. Badtrip. o ikaw, bakit wla kang lovelife?
meckie: someday someone's gonna love me.. haha. mas ok kng wla, walang sakit
bonbonito: no bf since birth?
meckie: hahahah i know..inaasar nga ko d2 eh nbsb nga daw
bonbonito: lol. pero my point ka, walang sakit pero panu mo nalaman na masakit nga? hindi ka ba nagtataka kung bakit ang iba ay paulit-ulit na nasasaktan ngunit binabalik-balikan ang sakit na kanilang naramdaman??
meckie: waaaaaaah dialogue b sa movie ito?! haha w8... (nilagay nya sa status msg nya ang sinabi ko)
bonbonito: hindi nu. akin yan. you can quote me.
meckie: I LIKE IT!
bonbonito: LOL. ilagay ba naman ba sa status msg!?
meckie: hahaha landi mo gurl! gusto ko un. di ko maexplain. pwede bang assign n lng
bonbonito: haha. sige. homework mo yan. solve it on yourown. pwede ka rin kumuha ng tutor. i mean. bf haha
meckie: walang finish or not finish pass ur paper ha
bonbonito: sige. pero may kota. hmm.. dapat umabot ang correct answers.
meckie: right minus wrong ba ito?
bonbonito: hmm... let me think about it. OO!
meckie: waaaah cge iisipin ko to
bonbonito: hnd mo malalaman ang sagot kung hindi mo mararamdaman ang sarap sa kabila ng kasakitan na pilit pinipigilan. hehe hoy! may balak ka pa ba bumalik d2?
meckie: bayaan mo..malay mo nman ngayon nagsisiwala n ung mga un
meckie: oo nmn..
bonbonito: when? kapag may pamilya na ang lahat? kapag lahat na ng girls e nabuntis na at ikaw na lang ang hinde?
meckie: gaga ka..
bonbonito: hay nako. kelan, kapag mayaman ka na??
meckie: mayaman na ko
bonbonito: lol. edi bumalik ka na dito no! kami naman ang payamanin mo! haha
meckie: hahahhaha ang saya mong kausap bonn
bonbonito: o sya sya. dapat 10pm tulog na ako e. haha. i need to sleep na. mananaginip pa ako ng gising bago matulog. gugunitain ang baklang sumira ng aking puso at sya ring dahilan kung bakit ko pinupulot ang bawat bubog at binubuong muli. lol
meckie: o cge.. next tym n lng ulet. sasagutan ko ung assign mo skn. miss yah! take care of yourself. to hell with those guys who hurt you
bonbonito: yea. dapat lang nu na ma miss mo ako. wag naman. minahal ko sila at mamahalin pa rin pagdating ng panahon. lol. kaw din. tc! wag magkakabf para patuloy ang pagyaman!
meckie: hahah i like that! s bagay.. o xa gurl. mag beauty rest ka na. i'll pray for you
bonbonito: anu b. don't call me girl. hehe. yoko na ginagawa akong girl kahit pa pumapatol ako sa kapwa ko lalake. hindi ko naman pinangarap magka boobs at feq2x.
meckie: hahahhaa fyn! landi mo boy
bonbonito: hehe. yan! thanx. at ikaw, hopefully, girl pa rin. hihi I'll pray 4 u too.

I wish he'll be rude to me then I could hate him.

It has been 23 days since he dropped me off the cliff of despair. Then after 6 days, I bursted out and yup! It was the cliff of despair. Up to now, I still feel something for him. I have proven that I'm not a fickle minded but I have a fickle heart. I'm trying to show my friends I'm happy making myself busy just to forget him. But it's hard. He made me feel special even if we didn't commit into a reltionship. Well, I did to him. There are so many moments we shared that I wont forget. Those moments were appreciated. During the DLSU Victory Party, he asked his friends to help him to sneak me inside the campus. Then inside, he asked his friend to take a photo of the two of us. When we walk on the road, he pulls me back to the side when I tend to walk towards the middle of the road. When he helped me and my mom carry some bags of shirts from divisoria for my business and before we left my house, he said to my mom not to worry, he'll send me home early. While we sat in the jeepney, he held my waist pulling me towards him. Sigh. And his groups anniversary at malate, our common friend asked him if he love me, he said yes, he love me and I said the same. He's the one who made their banner for the anniversary and he gave me a tarpauline but his friend wants it so I gave it and he tried to get it back for me. Yet, he chose to let me go despite of all of those moments I reminisce. Sometimes, I wish I had never met him. Because then I could sleep at night not knowing there was someone like him out there. (Graham, Good Will Hunting) As of now, I collect love quotes and send it to him for him to notice my feelings. Well I hope he does. And for me, It has been 2 weeks since I started eating fastfood everyday. When I'm in school, I always eat at McDonalds because I have an upgrade card. hihihi. (Trivia: I named this pillow RB, initials of his name)

Birthday Fight Greetings

My parents are calling me for lunch but I still choose to sit in front of the PC and blog. I'm mad. Yes, I am mad and today is my Dad's birthday. I'm mad with everyone. Today is a weekend and we don't have classes. 7 o'clock in the morning, my sister woke me demanding to open my account so that she can play Tales of Pirates (TOP) Darn her! I haven't had complete sleep yet in a week and now is the chance then she disturbed me from my great slumber. We exchanged loud noises and I hate it. It destroys my day especially when my Dad asked me to open my account for my sister. My sister keeps asking to open my damned account. She also said that the computer is not mine, she'll just play the game and won't open stuffs that can destroy my reputation (haha, I don't have porn in my account!) and more blahblahs. Then she cied. My Mom said something about giving my sister a limited time to use the PC but that is not my point. 11:30 I stood from my bed, wen't down to the computer. I saw our youngest brother using the PC (he's watching anime, ciara in youtube, playing addictinggames and a transformer action figure. Men! That's one multitasking brother of mine!) I asked him where our sister is and if she use the PC already. He said yes and my sister is sleeping in her room. He doesn't know what time she started but I bet it was right after our fight. Brother used the PC right after sister so it means that the PC was open for approximately 5 hours already.

Here's the 10 reasons why I can't let her play that TOP.
1. When my older brother were still here in this damned country, He's the one fixing the computer while he blaims me that I'm the one putting viruses because of my pirating mp3s (but now i don't download unlicensed thingymajigs.) He made accounts for us and I had a limited access on everything. I can't download and install stuffs. I understand his point and now I'm doing it to my sister.
2. Whenever she use the PC, she use it 'til he drop without thingking the PC might overheat.
3. I do important stuffs when I use the PC and when I wan't to use it, she'll look at the clock and ask me to wait for 30 minutes or less then she continue her game.
4. I already asked her to manage her time in using the computer because she's just using it for the game. It came to the point that I have to threaten her so that I can use the PC. But she pushed me to my limit. She told me that she's not afraid. Well, I make 2 accounts, one for me to use for my business and the second is for everyone to use but without administrative power.
5. Whenever our youngest brother is the one using the PC, she'll make ways for her to play the game right away.
6. Again, I'm the one who's doing important stuffs then I'm the one who sacriffices time for the PC to cool down. And sometimes when I leave the PC for that purpose, she'll run down the stairs and open the PC again.
7. Whenever I let the PC to cool down, I finish my work at 4am. My Dad will wake up and check the doors then he'll see me using the PC at dawn then he'll ask me to give the PC a rest. To whom should he say that? To my sister!
8. My sister is not showing respect to me and to the PC anymore. She knows that I go home late already, tired and stressful. She knows that the PC is low in virtual memory already.
9. Everyone knows that she's spent already hours infront of the PC then if you ask her to leave the PC, she'll tell you she started playing awhile ago.
10. Lastly and fruity, I'm too tired and lazy and I just don't want to.

LATE LATE LATE!!!

Ok. I'm so sorry blogspot for not updating you. It's not my fault that multiply is more packed. hihi.

'07-'08 TRYOUTS

This is the poster I made for my team's promotion for tryouts. lol. I'm so stupid. I texted my team mates to view the poster here. I texted them before I post this. haha. They'll gonna read my life and, and, and.. haha. I don't really know what would happen next. Well, some of them knows me really but most of them don't. What should I do? And I know they'll read this. Uhmm, Ok. I know I don't have anything to hide because God knows I don't have any bad intentions. haha. Oh man! Also, I found a protein drink at 7-Eleven but it's too expensive. huhu

MY BUSINESS
My Mom lend me money for me to start my own business. Nice but I started the business not in time. Sigh. Visit the site here http://epoeye.multiply.com/

HEART BROKEN
Ok. I broke my heart again. I'll just summarize the story. (You can read it in my multiply.) His name is Tsard and I love(d) him. Now, I'm not sure If I still love him but I still think of him a lot. I still care about what we had. But what the heck, I can't write another sentence in our affair. He's really nice. I never felt those nice things he showed me from my exbfs. I'm going bruhaha again. better stop. I think I should start trying to be straight again just to gorget about him. Errfgh! He's a joke!

NEW HAIR, NEW LIFE
Kala ko I won't cut my hair and spend two more than an hour inside the bathroom because of my emotion break down. Harhar. I did cut my hair and spent time for a long bathing. But it is a new me. (click here for the before and after pics.) Now, I spend time to be emo/gothic. Aside from being like that, I look for ways to develop my personality. I delete my pathetic entries. I don't want them. I can't stand seeing them showing stuffs which I don't like just now. I don't know why.