Monday, December 26, 2005

I'm falling. I'm falling not like falling in love but it's falling apart. I spend all my vacation locking my self inside my dusty bedroom instead of doing my projects. I have this problem and it destroys my self. I'm destroying my self. My Christmas is so cold and nobody could answer why but my self. Am I making it cold for me or the one who suppose to make it warm is no where to be seen or hear beside me. Or, I'm the one who suppose to make it warm for my self. Meaning I'm alone in Christmas. Every time I hear the song "Stick with you" or while watching it in the TV, I can't help but fall into tears. Am I being pathetic or people just haven’t felt the true meaning of Love and not just simply one-night-stand or short-time (as to girls call it "shota") or fling or your three months expiration date. Could the day be seen in my future that I'll be singing that song to him? I hope so, I'm hoping. Just hope. So many Questions I need to ask but there is no one but him could answer it. Him is not here but there inside my phone ringing. Just ringing. No answers. Should I give up on this or should I stand up? I know I'm just afraid that I could be just one of his boys who happen to have a 3 months expiration date. But I am just one leg. It can stand up but can't move. I can kick my self to the destination I want if the other leg wants it that way. But where is the other leg? Well, I'm calling him but just ring-ring-ring. I don't know if we have a problem or maybe it's just me. I hope I'm the only one who has a problem so that it's easy to accept and I could only blame my self. New Year is really fast coming. I must do my project fast. Should I still worry about us? Sometimes, I think that, I have done my part, always.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

He fights like a man so he can become a woman

Beautiful Boxer is really one of the year's best movies. Napanood ko na yung film kahit hindi pa pinapalabas dito sa Pilipinas. The movie is based on the real life story of Parinya Chareonphoi, a Muaythai boxer who underwent a sex change operation to become a woman; even his name in the movie is Nong Toom. The movie chronicles her life from a young boy who likes to wear lipstick and wear flowers to her sensational career as kickboxer. First, when he was still young, his parents lend him to the monks, which I did not understand why because the movie has only the subtitles on the important scenes. I think that's why he has a strong and firm body because of learning from the monks. As I know, monks centers the strengthening of their body. His Mom was always there to comfort him when he is bullied, that is why his parents didn't have a hard time to accept him for who he is. He started the boxing career when his friends entered him to a boxing competition and accidentally won it. He brought money to his parents because that is what they need even his mom wont let him to fight again. The hardest fight he went through, I think is fighting his friend even the weather wont let them to. I wont spill more of the story. All I really want to say is that, the movie didn't gave the right justice to the story. The story was great, really great, the movie is fine but fine is not enough for such beautiful movie.