Tuesday, October 4, 2005

back off!!!

I'm planning to change my blog. Reason, I really feel bad and worried about the things that are happening to my life now. I think I should keep first in my closet the happy-go-lucky side of me. Why change? I always change something when I feel I'm being singled out. Huh? I was "nabastos" that's why. Sometimes I go to the parlor and have my nails cleaned or sometimes get to Barbie and ask him to cut my hair and give it a style. O I c...

Here it is, I was insisting to my group mates about our report that it would not be on last Monday, on the same date that we were talking, because I say so. Luckily I was right but it's too late. They insisted that's why I was not able to attend two of my courses to make that report, alone. When I came back to school in a hurry, they told me "I think we are not going to report today." I was really feeling something inside of me. I just told my self "I can’t be angry now, not now to my own friends." But before that, when I entered the building, someone approach me and say, "Blood donation po?" I just laugh and raised my arms and said to him "blood donation?" Arfgh! I'm the one who need to be given some blood. People are worst that day.

Yesterday, hmmm I think I should not share it here but maybe I will. There came a "colleague" while I was talking to a someone. She was on my back when she stabbed me with words. I was shocked about what she said and I was left standing without on my phase. Maybe she didn't know that her words made me bleed. Luckily, some of my friends were still there to share the emotion. I was trying to burst my self into tears that time because I really wanted to release the strain. And, what the fuck was my horoscope that time. "Marami ang maghahangad na ika'y mabigo ngayon. Ngunit ni isa sa kanila ay hindi magtatagumpay" Yah right, it was a heck but it was true on the first premise. On the 2nd one was really crazy. The people who wanted me crying were victorious but the battle is just starting, it's a war. My appearance was telling my friends that "did that happened?" but inside of me was shouting, "It happened. What's next, assassination?" I was not able to express my self properly; I just went to the EJ office and stayed for work. People are worst than ever!

A while ago, after I woke up on a Wednesday morning, it came into my mind that I haven't got a reply from Bekey. He asked me about giving him a girl. I replied "Sira, hindi babae pinaghahahanap ko, lalake po gusto ko ngayon. Ahihi ^_^" What is that, with a smiling face. Then he never replied. I think he's homophobic but according to a someone, he told her that he was half-half like us. Nah, if he's lying and ignore me in class, I'm prepared to tell him my back-up lines. Now, I just hope I'm wrong in my view. I don't want to do to others what they are doing to me just to push them down. I better kill them I guess. I thought I could find a friend from a typical person like him. Don't worry; I'll be easy. I wont try to waste a thought because I never will, then return of candles and walk out and shed some tears. Joke! I'll be fine; I'll go back now to sleep after this, I’m already seeing ghosts. I can't wait to see people today.