Saturday, January 26, 2008

Will you take me out of this lenses

Will you take me out of this lenses
I don't want who I am seeing
Myself is in the gloom of this frame
Trapped within the corners of this dying
I can't move to your hands nor touch you
We're in distance of everything
Clueless is killing me
My mouth is open but I can't speak
Words inside is incomplete and weak
So will you take me out of this lenses
Move, walk towards me
Make me run
Make me feel you
Make me.. make you.. take me

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Am I worth of another peso?

Hindi ko na alm ang gusto ko mangyari samin or dapat ba meron. Hindi ko rin alm kung meron din syang nais maganap. I asked him out for the weekend pero hindi sya pwede dahil 18th birthday ng kanyang sister. So I thought, that's a nice reason for him not to go out with me. Then I asked how he and his sister doing for I know they're not in good terms, hindi na sya nag reply. ganun sya lagi. ay hindi! minsan lang pala. I'll asked him then he'll asnwer it. I'll ask again, then he wont reply. Lagi na lang ganun, ako ang nagtetext. gustohin ko mon syang tawagan kahit magkaiba kami ng network, hindi ko alm schedule nya. Alam ko busy sya pero...

Natatandaan ko, I asked him if he would find time to go out with me. He said, "absolutely... gusto ko but I still don't have the guts." Kahit pa nasira ang phone ko, hindi ko makakalimutan yun. I'm still hoping. I actually asked him if he could be my date for prom but he won't give a sure answer. but that's ok. Knowing that he would dance with me sweetly would be enough for the waiting. But what if he wont be available on that day?! sad. I really want to go out with him, for now I know he would dance with me. yikes!


I think kailanagn ko idagdag sa plans ko ang paglipat sa smart. haha

Sunday, January 20, 2008

transformation for positivity

These past few days, I havn't noticed, I've been losing my esteem. Lots of bad things happened and I have so many burdens and worries that I don't even know if I shoud still bother. Good thing, I asked my faithful friends and then I found out my problem. I thought I was an ideal guy, nicelooking, kind, sweet, polite, manly and all of the traits I want for myself. But now I lack on believing in myself. Yup, that's my problem. I have decided to keep away for awhile from my short term happiness. I had my hair cut yesterday and now I'll start my new lifestyle. My bestfriend gave me the idea when he told me to delete all my photos in Guys4men then change myself then post new pictures when I feel I'm already okay about myself. But I wont do that. I'll just avoid logging in for long period or stop myself from logging in, also in Downelink. I'll avaoid chatting too. Here's my routine:

1. wake up early, 5:00am
2. exercise or workout
3. eat breakfast
4. groom myself without the make-up(slowly, haha. I don't know if I can)
5. avoid tardiness in class
6. be active and bubbly
7. think positive to attract positive
8. greet friends even if you're not that kin
9. eat lunch and rest after for siesta
10. attend my trainings and meetings or workout again
11. do my erands fast to attend due dates and avoid sleeping late.
12. eat snacks to help gain weight
13. save money if i still have money. lol
14. sleep early. as much as possible 10:00 I'm already sleeping.
15. Pray and avoid telling lies even if it's white. also, be apologenic.


PS. I'm still hoping for my ideal relationship. Plese don't keep me waiting. It's hard! p_q

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Early Broken Resolutions for 2008

I told myself no more make-up. Grr .. I went to the mall with two of my friends and we dropped by at the make-up section. I wasn't able to stop myself from buying a consealer and I asked my friend and the salesgirl what else I need to buy so I bought a powder foundation and I wasn't able to notice that it's a shade lighter than my skin tone. Fuck ayt? Then yesterday I picked up some orders then awhile ago, I checked my inventory and sales, Grr.. I already spent around Php 7,000 from my business money for personal use. Grr... Spent them on shopping, gimick, food, date, mobile credit... I know that sounds soso but man, I don't spend money that much in a month . Even though I can't save money, still I always try. I need to prove my parents and myself I'm old enough to handle money and a business. I want to be successful! Sigh. Also, be nice but awhile ago I shouted at my little brother. He's so annoying. He asked me no good questions and he's playing his Teddy and he acted like Mr. Bean last night. Grr... Now my conscience bugs me. 3 down. It sucks! And because I spent too much money, I have to be "bahay-school-bahay" again. Also, my plan of getting fat will be set aside. But this year isn't over yet so I can stil make it!!! go go me!!