This may sound a little redundant to others but for me its not. It's just an issue to every bisexual like me, I think, whose answers are not yet revealed. How tiring…
What's the difference between bisexuals and gays anyway? I my self doesn't know where the hell these words come from but do I even care? Yep, sometimes. I have said that I'm a bisexual, yes I am. The word bisexual refers to a person who can love both lady and lad. I have read in a magazine about homophobes, "We are all born bisexuals" –Sigmund Freud. Yes we are. Don't know why or how? Find it for your selves. In bisexuals, we walk into 2 terms, the tops and bottoms. I hate these words actually. They just refer where you are placed during sex. Why I hate these words? Sex doesn’t have an importance in my life. Yes, it doesn’t have, it's just lust (but its enjoying anyway hehe that's the pervert side of me who answerd that. Damn you perverts!). But I admit that I'm not a virgin anymore since elementary. So anyway, how important it is the word bisexual to me? I'm living in the world conquered by straights and curves. When I love an opposite sex, it automatically refers you as straight (but how come?). When you love in the same sex, there is a unchangable notation, especially to granies, that you are homosexual. Does it mean that Bisexuals are Homosexuals? I don't know, maybe or maybe it is just a front of gay peepz according to other peepz. I have risk many important things in my life now. I always think of the things around me and not even thinking of my self. I was confused, I was thinking of entering to seminary because of God's call. But I refused to answer it; I don't want to be the "Sugo." What is it for me anyway? I have revealed so many things to my environment. They may judge me on anything they want, how or what reactions have they showed. Do must I care? I don't know. Many people told me that I must not change for them. But in the world that they rule, I think I must go away from these worlds. Being like this has become a burden to me. Now, do I hate being like this? Of course not, I already have the life I wanted a long time. Full of adventure, colors, the light, the challenges, the things I need to have. I love my boyfriend. I love my family and frinds. Confusion is with me. I need to answer the doubts running in my self. All I really want is to love and be loved in return. No mistakes, full of happiness. No tears, No cold stormy nights. What else could happen to me. I want to be out fully. I want my family to notice the real me. I know someone who just recently accidentally pulled out from his closet. I still don't know what happened to him next, I'm still waiting for answers. I have many problems right now. All I maybe need is time... or understanding perhaps.