all lost

I lost it. I'm not in myself or maybe I am me just gone worst. I want to have a healthier lifestyle but I became an addict just because of curiosity. No, I'm not into drugs. I'm slowly killing myself. I skip meals, I do not sleep on time, and etc. Everything is written in air and now another plan came into me. I'm going to apply myself to a gain weight program in a gym. shuks! I'm really over confident. lol. I hope I can do all the things I want for myself.

I'm fixing my profile in friendster right now. You'll see it's pink. lol. I'm gay right but it doesn't mean that I'm gay so it's pink. Its because I'm gay that is why it's pink. do you get it?

Sigh. I'm really sad right now. haha. come to think of it. I usually blog when I'm sad. well anyways, I really don't have the means to flirt. really. I swear. That is why I'm sad. I can talk to other people but only with limited matters. It's hard for me to be too affectionate wit them. I'm not yet over with someone in my past (you know who he is. just read my past entries) and I don't have a mobile phone. My life is just sad. Maybe I can't move on because I simply don't want to. Maybe, this sadness gives me a pleasure I don't really understand but somehow it feels good. (huh?) Adding up to my sadness is my first boyfriend said something I did not like. shame! FYI, that picture is Chris, 1st boyfriend. lol. Obviously, I'm into chinitos.

I had so many interesting experience from this past month that I want to share. I really do but something is holding me back. Err.. I hate this. Has anybody experienced the same thing? You have all this good thoughts but your body just wont work.