I'm falling. I'm falling not like falling in love but it's falling apart. I spend all my vacation locking my self inside my dusty bedroom instead of doing my projects. I have this problem and it destroys my self. I'm destroying my self. My Christmas is so cold and nobody could answer why but my self. Am I making it cold for me or the one who suppose to make it warm is no where to be seen or hear beside me. Or, I'm the one who suppose to make it warm for my self. Meaning I'm alone in Christmas. Every time I hear the song "Stick with you" or while watching it in the TV, I can't help but fall into tears. Am I being pathetic or people just haven’t felt the true meaning of Love and not just simply one-night-stand or short-time (as to girls call it "shota") or fling or your three months expiration date. Could the day be seen in my future that I'll be singing that song to him? I hope so, I'm hoping. Just hope. So many Questions I need to ask but there is no one but him could answer it. Him is not here but there inside my phone ringing. Just ringing. No answers. Should I give up on this or should I stand up? I know I'm just afraid that I could be just one of his boys who happen to have a 3 months expiration date. But I am just one leg. It can stand up but can't move. I can kick my self to the destination I want if the other leg wants it that way. But where is the other leg? Well, I'm calling him but just ring-ring-ring. I don't know if we have a problem or maybe it's just me. I hope I'm the only one who has a problem so that it's easy to accept and I could only blame my self. New Year is really fast coming. I must do my project fast. Should I still worry about us? Sometimes, I think that, I have done my part, always.