Before slumber, Tita Ching (now that she resides in my home) and I often meet on the top of our house to puff sticks of blue cigars and talk. This time, sya lang matutulog because I have to finish a computer job.
We talked about leaving the country to find work abroud. I opened to her that I'm not comfortable leaving the country and Paul, my boyfriend. Yea, I trust Paul but do I trust myself? I believe that I'm a loyal and faithful other half but there will always be temptation to humans, most especially to gay people. I know hindi malandi si Paul but the thought that we're countries far from each other puts me in misery. I'm thinking of spending 2 years away from home and how can we survive on that 2 years. How will I talk to him? I hope by that time, i already have a wifi capable gadget that I can use anywhere so that I could send him messages often na hindi magastos. Pero, ok lang ba kung yun lang? (sigh) masakit na ulo ko. Kaya ko kayang ilihim kay Paul na aalis ako ng bansa habang inaayos ko visa? (sigh) This thoughts makes me cry.
Tita Ching shared a story about his gay friend who works abroad and have his boyfriend living with his family. I laughed. Kilala nanaman ako ng family ni Paul and kilala nang family ko si Paul. Will it be ok for my family or to Paul to live with my family? haha.. (sigh)
I want to work abroad and save fortunes then go back to my land. How will I spend that fortune, dun ko na lang malalaman kapag nakabalik na ako. hehe
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