My Top 10 Misfortune as of feb 2008

I really hate what's happening to my life now. I'm having series of unfortunate events. I thought I would be lucky this year but now I'm experiencing hell.

1. My last day in P. Gomez Elementary School was last Thursday, Feb 21. Mrs. Abrilla, my critic teacher, gave tons of work load and papers to finish like what she always do. 5:45 AM, I should be in school already then 11:30 AM, the class is about to be dismissed everyday and during M-W-F we have this 2 hours ancillary which Mrs. Abrilla called "ox-ciallary." Mrs. Abrilla pulled me from than ancillary to spend time with her remedial class everyday which I called "the in-tern's remedial class." Since I was always late coming to school, I thought I have no rights to reason with her demands. I always check the test papers, get the frequency of errors and record the scores then if I'm already tired, I'll look at my right side, I'll see her putting her make-up or eating sometimes and she won’t even invite me to eat recess and lunch. So there, she gave me a work load on my last day, 2:00 Pm I'm still there with my butt aching, finally she told me to bring home the papers instead and bring it back tomorrow. Tomorrow came, I went to P. Gomez to give back the papers then I went to my next shift which is in UST Elem. When I entered the Grade school office my supervisor saw me and pulled me to a conference with her. There I found out that Mrs. Abrilla didn't give a grade for my performance. I felt like I was very stupid that I accepted the work loads during my last day in P. Gomez. That no good "Master Teacher", who's grade 1 students can't even spell apple and ball correctly, Abrilla is a user. She used me well. tsk.

2. I was crying hard when I was talking to my supervisor. Not because of not having a grade but because she wont even listen to what I'm saying. She's just blaming me like I'm the one who messed up the Philippine government. I thought she would be there for me because she's my supervisor but no. tsk.

3. My shift in P. Gomez was suppose to be in the afternoon but I changed it to morning even I'm having sleeping disorders ( I reached to the point that I have to resort to sleeping pills) because I have my swimming training in the afternoon. But because of being busy of so many things, it was hard for me to attend the trainings. So I competed in the goodwill games without a good practice. My coach gave me 3 events in breaststroke. The hell!!! I don't swim with that stroke. Since first year I'm only trained to swim freestyle. So I failed to get a medal. That was depressing.

4. I was the one who processed the Swimming Team's Jacket. I had a problem with financing the jacket. I have to use my own money because the Lester, the person who sew the jackets gave the money to me late. We had a deal for the jacket. Lester would sew the jacket and I'm the one who'll put the prints. But then, I was able to give the jackets to my swimmers on time but I'm broke. haha

5. EES shirt. The stressful EES shirt. haha. The only problem I had is that Lina gave the orders to me but some people who ordered was not paid yet and I forgot a section because it was in a separate paper. Since I forgot a section and there are not yet paid shirts. I gave the not yet paid shirts to the forgotten section. But then, it didn't suffice the problem. I still have to make more shirts. And some shirts were returned because of stains. Darn! T-shirt printing is a stressful one. Why did I have to enter this business? Sigh.

6. Since I'm the only computer literate in my family, I the one who always asked for computer jobs for our family business. I have to do the IDs, forms and tarpaulins. As in, always. I can't leave the house if I haven't finished what they want me to finish. That's the reason why sometimes, I'm late in school. What I hate the most is that people won’t appreciate my work then if I do what they like, they would still ask me if it's much better. So silly.

7. Since I need to earn money to spend with what I want, It's hard for me to give up on EJ even I'm having a hard time looking for time to lay-out the publications. Monica, the e-i-c, my friend, is the one getting the negative feedbacks and not me. I'm having pressures and it's hard for me to comply.

8. I wasn't able to do my laundry for 2 weeks.

9. During the P. Gomez shift, I noticed that I was only able to eat a meal every after 2 nights. That's dinner. If I'll eat lunch, usually it’s already 4 or 5:00 PM in the afternoon.

10. The due date of our narrative report is on Feb 29 and I haven't started yet. I'm so busy and so harassed, I'm already tired and no motivation to do it. I don't know if I can make it to my graduation.

Will you take me out of this lenses

Will you take me out of this lenses
I don't want who I am seeing
Myself is in the gloom of this frame
Trapped within the corners of this dying
I can't move to your hands nor touch you
We're in distance of everything
Clueless is killing me
My mouth is open but I can't speak
Words inside is incomplete and weak
So will you take me out of this lenses
Move, walk towards me
Make me run
Make me feel you
Make me.. make you.. take me

Am I worth of another peso?

Hindi ko na alm ang gusto ko mangyari samin or dapat ba meron. Hindi ko rin alm kung meron din syang nais maganap. I asked him out for the weekend pero hindi sya pwede dahil 18th birthday ng kanyang sister. So I thought, that's a nice reason for him not to go out with me. Then I asked how he and his sister doing for I know they're not in good terms, hindi na sya nag reply. ganun sya lagi. ay hindi! minsan lang pala. I'll asked him then he'll asnwer it. I'll ask again, then he wont reply. Lagi na lang ganun, ako ang nagtetext. gustohin ko mon syang tawagan kahit magkaiba kami ng network, hindi ko alm schedule nya. Alam ko busy sya pero...

Natatandaan ko, I asked him if he would find time to go out with me. He said, "absolutely... gusto ko but I still don't have the guts." Kahit pa nasira ang phone ko, hindi ko makakalimutan yun. I'm still hoping. I actually asked him if he could be my date for prom but he won't give a sure answer. but that's ok. Knowing that he would dance with me sweetly would be enough for the waiting. But what if he wont be available on that day?! sad. I really want to go out with him, for now I know he would dance with me. yikes!

smiles!!!

I think kailanagn ko idagdag sa plans ko ang paglipat sa smart. haha

transformation for positivity

These past few days, I havn't noticed, I've been losing my esteem. Lots of bad things happened and I have so many burdens and worries that I don't even know if I shoud still bother. Good thing, I asked my faithful friends and then I found out my problem. I thought I was an ideal guy, nicelooking, kind, sweet, polite, manly and all of the traits I want for myself. But now I lack on believing in myself. Yup, that's my problem. I have decided to keep away for awhile from my short term happiness. I had my hair cut yesterday and now I'll start my new lifestyle. My bestfriend gave me the idea when he told me to delete all my photos in Guys4men then change myself then post new pictures when I feel I'm already okay about myself. But I wont do that. I'll just avoid logging in for long period or stop myself from logging in, also in Downelink. I'll avaoid chatting too. Here's my routine:

1. wake up early, 5:00am
2. exercise or workout
3. eat breakfast
4. groom myself without the make-up(slowly, haha. I don't know if I can)
5. avoid tardiness in class
6. be active and bubbly
7. think positive to attract positive
8. greet friends even if you're not that kin
9. eat lunch and rest after for siesta
10. attend my trainings and meetings or workout again
11. do my erands fast to attend due dates and avoid sleeping late.
12. eat snacks to help gain weight
13. save money if i still have money. lol
14. sleep early. as much as possible 10:00 I'm already sleeping.
15. Pray and avoid telling lies even if it's white. also, be apologenic.

AND HELP ME GOD!

PS. I'm still hoping for my ideal relationship. Plese don't keep me waiting. It's hard! p_q

Early Broken Resolutions for 2008

I told myself no more make-up. Grr .. I went to the mall with two of my friends and we dropped by at the make-up section. I wasn't able to stop myself from buying a consealer and I asked my friend and the salesgirl what else I need to buy so I bought a powder foundation and I wasn't able to notice that it's a shade lighter than my skin tone. Fuck ayt? Then yesterday I picked up some orders then awhile ago, I checked my inventory and sales, Grr.. I already spent around Php 7,000 from my business money for personal use. Grr... Spent them on shopping, gimick, food, date, mobile credit... I know that sounds soso but man, I don't spend money that much in a month . Even though I can't save money, still I always try. I need to prove my parents and myself I'm old enough to handle money and a business. I want to be successful! Sigh. Also, be nice but awhile ago I shouted at my little brother. He's so annoying. He asked me no good questions and he's playing his Teddy and he acted like Mr. Bean last night. Grr... Now my conscience bugs me. 3 down. It sucks! And because I spent too much money, I have to be "bahay-school-bahay" again. Also, my plan of getting fat will be set aside. But this year isn't over yet so I can stil make it!!! go go me!!